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Would You Like Green Eggs and Ham?

Troye Sivan enters his home in Melbourne, Australia after a lengthy flight from Los Angeles. Feeling a bit hungover from the endless flow of champagne that the generous air hostess constantly kept coming his way he collapses on the sofa in the nearby living room and takes a nap.

When he wakes up there is a plate with something that looks weird on it. It’s all green. He sneers at the plate and walks out of the lounge. A good, long bath is what he needs before the next concert. He gets up and notices that there’s someone in the kitchen wearing an apron. He doubles back as a cute, black girl wearing a floral apron comes out of the kitchen wearing gloves. She was obviously washing dishes.

“Who the hell are you?” He exclaims.

“Tanatswa”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Making green eggs and ham”

“Da….”

Tanatswa places a finger on his mouth.

“This is rated PG, no swearing,”

Troye guffaws and slaps her hand away. Tanatswa points to the untouched plate in the living room.

“Would you like green eggs and ham?”

So that’s what the green monstrosity on that plate was? Troye scowls, grabs Tanatswa by the wrist and chucks her out of his house. Crazy fangirl probably. He takes a deep breath and makes a round around his house to make sure that there aren’t anymore left.

He takes three hours to soak in the bath. That bath bomb from Lush that his mom gave him is really invigorating. As he soaks he falls asleep again and wakes up to find green eggs and ham by the side of his tub close to his mouth. He shrieks. How did that crazy girl bring this in? He jumps out of his tub and checks his security camera in his room. Instead of showing him the different parts of his house he sees Tanatswa holding up a cardboard written “Would you like green eggs and ham?”

“No, I would not like green eggs and ham!” Troye shrieks at the monitor. The screen goes black then fuzzy eventually it turns back to monitoring the different rooms in his house. He grumbles and calls the security company to bring in a guard for the rest of the day.

That night he hosts a barbeque party at his house to celebrate being home for the first time in ages. His parents and all his siblings are there, not to mention about twenty of his closest friends (if it’s even possible to have that many close friends). They enjoy the meat and the booze. It’s nice to take a break from that yucky American stuff. They play a round of beer pong and Troye’s team loses. The leader of the losing team has to get dunked in the pool. So everyone grabs Troye and they throw him into the pool. After splashing around for a bit he comes out laughing and dazed. He wipes his hair away from his eyes and sees that everyone is gone and the party lights have been turned off.

“Hey, where is everybody?” He asks. A light blinks on and reveals a table with a plate of green eggs and ham. He scowls. “NO I WILL NOT…”

Something hits him on the back of the head and he blacks out.

A few minutes later Troye blinks awake and finds himself tied to a chair by fairy lights. He squints around him, the beginnings of a hangover setting in. He’s seated outside at the garden table in the middle of the backyard. Opposite him is Tanatswa…and on the table is the green eggs and ham.

“Would you like green eggs and ham?” She asks.

“NO!!!NO I WOULD NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM!!!”

She doesn’t respond but just takes a forkful of the green stuff and holds it up to his mouth, looking at him. Troye lets out an animalistic yell. She just continues to look at him, fork outstretched.

“Fine! I’ll try your bloody green eggs and ham!” He takes a small bite and brightens up. “Ey, this stuff is pretty good.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you but you were being stubborn” Tanatswa explains.

“So why did you want me to try this so badly?”

Tanatswa leans in close “because Sam I am”

END*

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