In my mind’s lounge today I’ve been graced with the presence of one of the greatest inventors in the world, Nikola Tesla. You know, that one that has the self-driving car named after him.
Me: (entering room) Good day Mr. Tesla
Nikola: How do you do?
I take a sit on a comfy couch next to him
Nikola: I must say that these settings are much better than what I was afforded when alive.
Me: Well I’m glad you like them. I’m guessing you had a hard life then?
Nikola: (getting angry) Yes I did and not of my own making. We all believe that poor circumstances are the result of lack of hard work but I worked my ass off.
I hand him a glass of red wine
Nikola: Thank you (calming down)
Me: Why was your life so hard?
Nikola: All because of Thomas Edison.
Me: The one who invented the telephone.
Nikola throws a table over
Me: That’s some anger over there.
Nikola: I INVENTED THE TELEPHONE!
Me: Were you this passionate when you were alive?
Nikola slumps back into the couch and puts a weary hand on his forehead
Nikola: No, I was not. If only I had been. I lost everything because I would not defend my ideas and of all the bloody sharks that I had to attract I had to attract the worst of them all. Thomas Edison never invented anything a day in his life. He stole all my ideas and made sure that when I left him that he discredited me and thwarted any of my attempts to introduce new inventions so that he wouldn’t be exposed. It’s only after my death and his that people are realizing what a charlatan he was.
Me: Sounds like Mark Zuckerberg. Thriving off others ideas.
Nikola: Why yes. And Edison thrived from mine and I died a pauper because I was too foolish for too long.
Me: How do you mean?
Nikola: When I was young and trusting I made the mistake of sharing my ideas with a man that introduced me to Edison. I didn’t know the darkest extents of the human nature. I didn’t believe that money was important, I was an inventor. And that was my biggest flaw and the biggest flaw of all creative people. We think that our gift is enough…until someone steals our gift.
Me: What do you wish you had done?
Nikola: I wished I had kept my inventions a secret when I was young until I could implement and introduce them to the world as my own patent. Then I would have never attracted the vulture Edison. If I had met him at all we would have met one equal terms and he would not have had the opportunity to use and abuse me as he did.
Nikola starts to cry
Me: I heard that you died with alot of great ideas in your head because you were now afraid to share them.
Nikola: (through tears) Yes that’s true. We could have had flying cars right now and self-cleaning houses would be normal. In fact we could be having downloadable food…
Me: That bastard Edison!