For those of us who come from African parents, Caribbean parents, Black parents, Asian parents, Indian parents and other strict parents you could probably relate to having difficult parents, but still feeling a conflicted sense of loyalty to them. The thing is often cultures and societies they come from encouraged abusive parenting as something good and made children stronger. For example in their day they would be beaten with anything within reach, they would be sworn at and treated in other obnoxious manners. And now they’re traumatized and don’t realize it and take it out on us.
We can easily see them show signs of PTSD in their behaviour but they think that they’re anger issues, sharp tongues, general roughness (not toughness) is a sign of strength and not needing a serious therapist. And this generation of children bear the brunt of that in this modern world.
Recently I was on the phone with a friend and had to rush to the quietest part of the house at night to talk to them. I had to cut the conversation short because my mom started banging all the doors and interrupting my call by ringing me. My friend could literally relate to that and told me her mom was similar in toxic behaviour. And as I’ve mentioned before that most African kids can relate. But a lot of my Asian friends, Indian friends and even some white friends can relate. And by the way I’m twenty-six and my friend is in her thirties. Parents keep trying to control us all our adult lives and interfere in whichever way is possible for them. Which answers the question “how can you be an adult and still be controlled by our parents”.
I could write an entire book about this but I don’t want to depress myself. But I think this gives people an idea of what goes on behind the scenes without having to resort to making tiktoks.