From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)Edgar Allen Poe
Of a demon in my view.
People tend to be surprised at how dark I can get when they talk to me. Perhaps it’s because I find that nothing in this world should go unaddressed because being afraid to talk about the things that make us uncomfortable allows those things to thrive and continue. Previously white people didn’t like to talk about the ill treatment of people of color in their societies even if they didn’t believe in it and how other white people blatantly abused them and in this time and season we condemn everyone who didn’t fight for the human rights of people of color. We can’t fathom that no matter how much good they did in their community or the world even the fact that they owned slaves and/or oppressed black people cancels that out. The dark things that we refuse to acknowledge in our society are what inevitably bring us down.
Perhaps that’s why I believe in unforgiveness. Because right now we’re in the height of forgiveness politics where we’re told we’ll be free if we forgive those who have transgressed us. Well in my experience when people who have not expressed remorse for their actions are forgiven they have no reason to be repentant and change their ways. And you don’t end up being free, you end up being caught in a loop of people thinking you’re easy to take advantage of and not having strong boundaries. So we need to venture into those darker emotions that people fear to tread because helps us face reality as humanity. And maybe get better, which many be the recipe for true joy.