The Last Letter from Your Lover: Makes You Rethink Marriage and How It Has Stood in the Way of Love

I’m a hopeless romantic and believe in life long commitment especially marriage. But when I think of some of the people I’ve dated or who have tried to solicit marriage from me or even the people who have tried to solicit baby mama from me (should I write an entire article about people who don’t want to commit to you but want to have a child with you so they’ll always have a stake in your life without actually positively benefiting you?), I can’t help but sympathize with people who are stuck being married to people that they don’t love and are impeded from seeking a real loving relationship. There are couples I look at and think “divorce is an option you know?”

Infidelity takes on a new light the longer you’re in the world. Of course there are those selfish fucks who claim to love you but can’t keep it in their pants. I’m talking about those people who want to have their cake and eat other people’s cakes too (the usual platitude “to have your cake and eat it too” is just too weird. Like if you have a cake what the fuck are you supposed to do with it if not eat it?). I’m one of those people that’s vehemently against infidelity.

But at the same time we’ve all met those psychos who will fall pregnant on purpose to stop a guy from breaking up with them, those stalkers that keep tabs on you years after you’ve broken up with them, and in general people who don’t believe in breaking up if a relationship isn’t working out. And then there are societal pressures to marry by a certain age and even some societies who take it a step further and call unwed women over 20-something “leftover women”.

Which takes away the purpose of marriage in the first place. Love making people commit. Now marriages seem to a lot of people to be two people who hate each other sharing a prison cell.

But true love is a difficult force to break. Whether its been noblemen who could not marry a woman of a certain class but took care of her long after the death of his wife, people leaving their partner and children for someone else, someone breaking up with a long term girlfriend/boyfriend or partner for the true love of their lives etc. The harsh reality is that we own no one and no matter what type of moral code we try to enforce, a person is of the Lord and they will make their own choices. And when we try to force them to stay we only cause them to resent us. So all we can do is hope a person chooses to stay and remain loyal. But in truth no one owes it to us.

He interfered for the “sake of his marriage” but in reality he just wanted to control her.

And feeling a sense of injustice at infidelity is justified in as far as hurt feelings go but you lose all empathy when you try to coerce a person to stay. The only thing you can do with infidelity is either put up with it or leave. And as someone that has been cheated on before, I have always chosen to leave. The other person made their choice and it wasn’t me (ironically they stalked my social media for months and the other years😑. They might even be reading this now. Fuck off Michael, you have a wife and kid🤦🏾‍♀️)

Love is worth pursuing

But if you choose to stay then also choose to leave the “other person” in peace. We can only make decisions for our own lives.

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