mental health

The Results of Strict Parenting: What Happened After The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Amy Chua’s book about about parenting caused a lot of controversy in America and abroad for her parenting style that many thought was abusive at best and psychotic at worst. At first I was conflicted about this book because I was a bit jealous that her kids got driven to places and their mother invested in their “talents” without complaining about how much money she spent on them (my own trauma talking). But after re-reading the book and knowing how the family turned out in the end gives me new perspective.

Inevitably both of Amys daughters got into Harvard…even though as legacy they would have gotten in easily anyway (well more easily than non-legacy anyway). The oldest daughter does not have a career as a pianist and neither does the youngest have a career as a violinist or a tennis player. Honestly with what’s happened with their lives they might as well have been eating gummie worms and playing video games with the rest of us. You know have a happy childhood.

Currently Amy herself is under investigation for fraud at her school and her husband has been suspended for sexually harassing female students. And obviously to save the image of the family Amy has been standing by her man and refuting the claims, although if she’s anything of the dragon lady that she portrays herself as in her book it’s not surprising that the husband would look elsewhere…although we wished he looked at females he wasn’t in a position of power over and could take advantage of.

Her high moral character came into question long ago though when she initially defended a high court judge who was called out during the #metoo movement. Then her daughter got an opportunity from the same person…throw your child straight into the mouth of a crocodile for the sake of a bright future why don’t you?

And this idea of a bright future she advocates for…what future is there when the present is miserable? People who keep looking towards what’s going to happen next end up doing unspeakable things in the present because if the mentality that “the end justifies the means”.

Just as many black kids are criticizing the abusive parenting style, Asian kids are also openly criticizing the tiger parenting method that they’ve been through (this doesn’t mean that all Asian parents are tiger parents though just like not all black parents are abusive). Many of them say that their parents’ strict parenting have stunted their emotional and social development as well as leaving trauma that they have to spend years to rectify. The biggest thing though is that the children never have a loving and healthy relationship with their parents.

In the end was it worth it? How do Amy’s daughters really feel after all these years? They were forced into the spotlight at a young age, defending their mother after the controversy of the book about their lives. But as an adult when you can re-evaluate things from a mature point of view you don’t sugar-coat the messed up things your parents did.

To end things on a light note, here’s an excerpt from one of my fave Tapas artists Circus Papi.

2 thoughts on “The Results of Strict Parenting: What Happened After The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”

  1. “Many of them say that their parents’ strict parenting have stunted their emotional and social development as well as leaving trauma that they have to spend years to rectify. ”

    I felt like that parenting style presents some sort of choice where good parenting somehow leaves out love and just people being strict and hard on you. But isn’t it possible to love and plan for the future too?

    So many people end up being broken by this mindset.

    “And this idea of a bright future she advocates for…what future is there when the present is miserable?”

    Yep, and people say Harvard is pretty miserable (vibe). It’s still just following the rules. I wonder why no Elon Musk came out of Tiger Mum parenting style.

    Liked by 1 person

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